Sargeras Says Read This or Else

Friday, July 17, 2009

If you are not that familiar with the interweb, you may not know that Sargeras the World Ender, Globe Smasher, Orc Devourer, ect., ect.... has his own blog. If you have not read, click HERE immediately! Ok, back from your coffee break with the Master of Malfeasance? Good, well he has some more words of wisdom below so read on.

Welcome, boys and girls, to The Misadventures of Svenn! My name is Sargeras, and I'll be your guest host for today. So just lean back in your beanbag and don't worry about a thing, 'cause ol' Mr. Ultimate Evil is going to take real good care of ya this afternoon.

Now I know that all you kids these days are just looking to have a good time. Well, I'm no different. I am "hip" and "cool" and also "tight" and I enjoy "chillaxing" with my "homies." And what do we do to have a good time? Why, we consume ethanol, of course, affecting our neurochemistry until we become "wicked" "smashed"! Here is how it "goes down":

BURNING LEGION DRINKING GAMES (Fun for the whole family! if they are demons)

Fire Flier - At the beginning of a planet run, everyone swoops down low over a peasant village and flies around shooting out fireballs. Every time a villager screams "We're all gonna die!!" (two or more exclamation marks required), take a drink. The first one to touch the ground loses. NOTE: This may require more than one peasant village.

The Bucket Kicker - Every time someone on your team dies, take a drink. No killsies!

Sharpshooter - Redirect comets at your target planet and take bets on which one will hit. The losers drink. If you hit a major land mass, it counts double. For an extra challenge, nominate someone "goalie."

Great Balls of Fire - I am not going to explain this one.

Slice 'n' Dyson - This is a great one when you're doing a planet where the civilization's built a Dyson sphere around their planetary orbit. Set up a bunch of cups on the inside surface of the Dyson sphere, then take turns hacking away at the planet, sending as many chunks of debris as you can in the opposite direction. At the end, everyone drinks from every cup with a planet chunk in it on the opposite side from them.

Microquaff'd - Take turns finding and devouring microbreweries. This isn't a game, exactly, but it doesn't take too long to start feeling like one.

The Kepler - Put a cup into orbit, then launch a ping pong ball at escape velocity. Try to get the ball to do one complete orbit and then hit the cup. Once one player accomplishes this, the other players have to drink until they die.

Sargeras Says - Whenever Sargeras says to take a drink, you take a drink!!! I SAID DO IT

Next time you rain down fire on a civilian population, that should help you pass the time. Of course, you do need to make sure you stay legal. Kids, if you're underage, obliterate sober! It's not just the law, it's the right thing to do.

Svenn here again, seriously, you need to go check out Coffee with Sargeras; just know that adding him to your Blog Roll will not get you out of annihilation once he gets around to destroying earth, I already asked.


One response to “Sargeras Says Read This or Else”
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Bagmi said...

HaHaHa!!! :D usual!

July 20, 2009 at 3:50 PM

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